Sexual Intimacy In Islam & Their Rules

Islam is often considered a restrictive culture in terms of sex. While it’s true that sex is a taboo topic from a premarital aspect, what happens between a wife and husband is completely encouraged. In this article, we cover how permissive sex in Islam is, with tips for brides, rules to keep in mind, and other tidbits that can make your first time far more enjoyable.

What The Muslimah Sex Manual Is About

First and foremost, it’s important to remember that in Islam, sex before marriage is considered a sin, and specifically known as ‘zina’. That means if you’re a god-fearing young Muslim man or woman, and you’ve lived your life without partaking in casual sex, then odds are that you aren’t well-versed in how to enjoy sex with your partner. If your nikkah is coming up soon, then you might be stressing out about this.

The Muslimah Sex Manual is a guide on how to have enjoyable, mind-blowing sex written by a Muslim woman. It offers you advice about everything from kissing to cowgirl positions! 

The gist of its message is that even though a traditional Muslim will not have engaged in sexual proclivities, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a varied sex life and take the lead in physical relationships. Unlike sex dating sites that focus on quick flings, this book is about deepening love and pleasure inside a lifelong commitment.

By reading advice like that in this book, Muslim women can learn how to keep the bedroom exciting, keep the relationship fresh in the long run, and keep their spouse happy.

This book did come with some controversy, with some critics saying it fetishizes Muslim women and encourages promiscuity. However, is it wrong for a wife to be the best sexual partner she can be for her husband, and only him?

Things Most Books Get Wrong About Sex In Islam

A lot of books about sex in Islam tend to focus more on the rules and legal interpretations of the Quran rather than on the actual relationship between the two partners. These books tend to emphasize male authority in the marriage, or they talk about the practice of concubinage, or they even ignore the wife’s right to pleasure entirely. 

If a wife is to be the best sexual partner for her husband, she needs to enjoy the act as much as he does. This is why several Islamic classical works explicitly state that it is a husband’s duty to ensure his wife’s sexual satisfaction.

How To Have Sex In Islam When You’ve Never Even Kissed 

When and how do muslims have sex for the first time? When you’re completely new to this act, it can feel frightening. You might be stressed out that the first time is going to be awkward, or that you won’t know what to do. While some people look to hookup sites for guidance, this kind of real, marriage-based advice is harder to find and more meaningful.

This is understandable, and here are a few tips that can help guide you for your big night.

• Change your mindset. When you’ve spent your whole life looking at sex as a haram act, it can be hard to enjoy yourself when you’re finally in the moment with your partner. In a marriage, sex is completely halal, and it is considered an act of worship that strengthens your bond.
• You aren’t being graded. You don’t need to put on a stellar performance, especially not for your first time. You will be awkward, and that’s perfectly okay. Learning to laugh about the awkwardness with your partner will only make you a better couple.
• Be open. Before your first time, talk to your partner and confide in them. You can tell your partner that you’re nervous, or that you want to take it slow, or mention any concerns you have. As a couple, you will overcome every challenge together.
• Try different things. When the day of the deed comes, don’t rush it. It’s your first time with each other, so take a moment to learn about each other. Don’t overthink things too much. Kiss each other until it feels right, and know that you can be delicate or animalistic, whichever feels right at the moment.
• Foreplay. Never go straight to actual sex. You want to please your partner, and the best way to do that is by building up the eroticism with foreplay. Techniques like clitoral play and even mutual masturbation are all ways couples can explore pleasure at their own pace and still stay within the bounds of halal intimacy. 

What Halal Sex Actually Looks Like According To The Book 

The Islamic way of sex is, contrary to popular belief, not a service the wife provides for her husband. 

Sex in Islam is actually a shared act in which both the husband and wife are to be equally considered. The husband is said to have a religious duty regarding his wife’s pleasure. That kind of care is something you won’t find in any local sex hookup encounter. In the book, this is considered a part of his marital expectations rather than a bonus.

A sexual relationship in Islam isn’t for making babies only. In the Quran, Allah is said to have created sex to be a way to experience joy and connection with your partner, so the Muslimah Sex Manual argues that a devoted Islamic woman is one who fully embraces her sexuality with her husband and enjoys it within the bond of marriage, rather than one who is detached from her sexuality.

First-Time Sex Advice Muslim Women Rarely Hear

Intimacy in Islam isn’t usually something mothers teach their daughters, so you may be confused about the sex rules in Islam and what to expect. To make your first time getting into sexuality in Islam more comfortable, keep this advice in mind:

• Sex isn’t about pleasing your husband only. The more you enjoy sex, the more your husband will enjoy it from your enthusiasm, and you’d want to have sex more often.
• Pain isn’t a necessity of sex. It’s your first time, and while that can be weird, it doesn’t need to be painful. Make sure you have lube on hand, and if you’re experiencing pain, don’t tough it out. Tell your husband it hurts, and take a second to breathe and readjust. 
• It’s your husband’s first time too, so you can’t expect him to know what to do. When you have sex, communicate. Tell him when you like what he’s doing so that he does more of it, and tell him when he’s doing something wrong so he can do better. This applies to him as well.
• Sex usually ends with the husband’s orgasm, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have one. Most women can orgasm, but it can be difficult to achieve purely from penetrative sex. What your husband needs to focus on is the clit, and playing with it with his hands and tongue can bring you to an orgasm even before you start having sex!

Body Image, Communication, And The Islamic Way Of Sex 

Before you learn how to have sex in Islam, you need to understand your body image, how to communicate, and what sex in Muslims entails.

Body Image

You may struggle with your body image. Maybe it’s deep-seated insecurity, a worry that your husband won’t find you good enough, or even from the unrealistic beauty standards seen on social media and adult webcam sites. 

When you struggle with your body image, you struggle to be vulnerable with your partner, and you’ll be too focused on your insecurities to be truly present in the moment to enjoy yourself. Just remember that Allah created humans in the best of forms, so there is nothing to be ashamed about.

Communication

Whatever concerns you may have, the only way to deal with them is by talking with your partner. Confiding in body image issues will help reassure you. Telling them what you like in sex will lead to them doing more of it.

The Islamic Way Of Sex

Sex is a form of worship. You and your partner are expressing your love to each other and making your bond strong. This is as vulnerable as you can be with each other, and it’s a place where you and your partner should be more focused on how everything feels rather than stressing about how you both look. After all, it’s not a performance.

From Dirty Talk To Cowgirl: Muslimah Sex Topics Covered

The Muslimah Sex Manual covers a variety of topics.

• Dirty Talk. Sometimes considered vulgar, the manual explains how dirty talk can help keep the bedroom intimate. Learning to be affectionate with your words, give instructions, and even using dirty phrases can help vocalize pleasure, build confidence, and help with intimacy for both you and your partner. If that’s not enough for some couples, they can also get ideas from adult websites.
• Foreplay. Building up to the main event makes it more enjoyable, which is why the manual focuses the importance of foreplay. It teaches you different kinds of foreplay methods, while also explaining how these methods are permissible in Islam and sex.
• Positions. Islam sex isn’t limited to one or two positions. This manual covers a variety of positions, such as cowgirl, missionary, spooning, and doggy style.
• Female Orgasm. Female orgasms tend to be overlooked everywhere, not just in Muslim sexuality. This book explains how a female orgasm can be achieved, both with techniques and communication with your partner.
• Logistics. Sex in Muslims can’t ignore the logistics of sex, and the Muslimah Sex Manual covers this as well: dealing with pain in sex, advice for couples with a libido mismatch, how to maintain hygiene, and why lubricant is almost always a bonus.

Sex Rules In Islam That Surprise Most People

Some folks may be curious how can Muslims have sex, as the rules might be quite restrictive. The reality is that sex rules in Islam are not repressive at all:

• The wife has a right to an orgasm. It is the husband’s duty to make sure that his wife is sexually satisfied. Most relationships tend to focus on the man’s pleasure, and Islam makes the wife’s orgasm her religious right.
• Sex is worship. Marital sex is considered a spiritual act, one that bonds the wife and husband, as well as being considered a way to attain a divine reward for satisfying their desires in a permissible manner.
• Non-permissible acts. The Quran basically states that unless something is explicitly forbidden, it’s allowed. That means that in marital sex, the only forbidden things are anal sex and sex during the wife’s menstrual period or post-natal bleeding.

How The Manual Stays Theologically Grounded

Sex is quite a taboo topic, but the Muslimah Sex Manual stays grounded while writing about it. What it focuses on is the main principle of permissibility, known as Ibahah. The book explains that everything is halal unless it’s explicitly forbidden in the Quran. 

By understanding what’s forbidden, you can feel more confident in trying everything else. The book also frames sex not as a way to fulfil a base desire, but rather as an act of worship. It helps achieve the higher objectives of marriage as defined by the Quran. The book also refers to the Sunnah when giving advice, legitimizing the modern guidance by showing its root in the original prophetic wisdom.

Conclusion 

While this isn’t exactly a Muslimah sex guide review, we can confidently state that this book covers how to do sex in Islam in depth. It is taking into account the pleasure of the wife as well as Muslim sexuality rules. 

Muslims and sex tend to be a taboo topic of conversation, but this book offers information that one would feel ashamed to seek elsewhere. It’s so informative that you are guaranteed to have a happy and healthy life with your sex Muslim partner!