Whether it’s verbal or physical, you need to know how to communicate if you wanna make your Seattle hookups scream out your name. Obviously there’ll be heavy flirting, but you need to know what she’s into. God gave you a mouth for more than just eating pussy.
You’re here cause you’ve been going through a dry spell. You heard that Seattle is a top tier sex destination, and you wanna know how to get a bit of that action. Well buddy, I’ve been through Seattle, and I’ve had far more success in the span of one month than you will in a lifetime. I’m sure you’re frothing at the mouth imagining how you’d fuck Seattle’s nymphomaniacs, so I’ve put together this nifty guide to help you in your endeavors.
What is the best place to meet singles in Seattle online?
If you want to hook up with someone, jack off to porn, or just see what girls in Seattle are like, you’re gonna love this section, pervert. I’ll show you about the best ways to set up a hookup before you’re even in Seattle, and also about Seattle’s famous porn stars!
What are Seattle hookup sites like?
If you wanna fuck someone as soon as you land in Seattle, these are some of the best dating sites Seattle has to offer.
- RealSeattleSingles: This is one of the few dating platforms that truly focus on Seattle hookups. The girls here will tell you exactly what they want and what they expect from you.
- Seattle Locanto is one of the most popular sites if you’re looking for the best casual encounter in Seattle. The users are authentic, and almost always looking for a quick one night stand.
Seattle’s top tier porn stars
No matter what city you go to, they’ll have porn stars in the area. Seattle’s particularly famous because some of the most well known porn stars in the industry live here! Check out this list to learn about your favorite wank fantasies who you might run into while you’re frequenting pubs and clubs in Seattle:
- Chastity Lynn. Her name implies purity and sanctity, but this dirty whore is the embodiment of sex. She’s a nymphomaniac MILF, loves threesomes, being dominated, and even fucking around with other girls. Maybe if you’re bringing your wife along to Seattle, Chastity Lynn would love to help you two to experiment.
- Madelyn Monroe. Are you the type that can’t pass up the opportunity to fuck blonde bimbos? This chick loves getting her hair pulled, and would talk dirty, calling you ‘daddy’ and edge you. If you see her at a Seattle sex club, say hi, impress her, and maybe she’ll spend the night milking your cock dry.
- Lucy Tyler. If you’re into babes who throw off a pure and innocent vibe, Lucy’s the girl for you. She looks too adorable for porn, but she’s one of the dirtiest sluts in the Seattle sex scene.
- Gianna Michaels. Gianna Michaels is one of those pornstars you can identify just by seeing her ginormous boobs. They’re big enough that she could crush you with them, and the thought of tittyfucking her is enough to take a man’s breath away.
- Tori Black. The most iconic name you’ll see on this list, Tori Black is known for taking cock of all races, shapes and sizes. If you’re in bed and imagine her choking on your cock, you’ll bust right away like a chump. Honestly, I don’t blame you cause that chick is smoking hot. Maybe you’ll be the lucky guy to run into her at one of the Seattle singles bars and take her home.
What are the top nightclubs in Seattle?
Loud music, alcohol, and low inhibitions are the key to a good time. The best nightclubs in Seattle provide exactly that. Visit any of my recommended nightclubs, pound a few shots, and hit up the dance floor. You’ll have all the confidence you need to start flirting with every chick who catches your eye. You’re bound to sweep one of them off their feet, and take them home. Check out the best clubs in Seattle:
- Monkey Loft: If you happen to be in Seattle in the summer, you’ll get to check out the Monkey Loft’s rooftop patio. This sets up perfectly for dancing under the stars. If you use that to your advantage, you could end up going to town on a hopeless romantic.
- Club Contour: A tight, packed dance floor, top-notch bartenders and even erotic dancers late in the night, Club Contour is a unique experience.
- Q Nightclub: This club has multiple floors, each with a theme, and even VIP booths. If you meet a hot slut thirsting after you, you might be able to sneak in a quick fuck with her in one of those private booths.
- Trinity: Are you into Asian babes? The Trinity nightclub specializes in the Asian theme, and is the best spot to pick up an Asian chick for the night.
What are the best pickup bars in Seattle?
A buzzed girl is a slutty girl. A wimp like you can be a sexy stud with a bit of that socially stimulating liquor. When you’re hitting up the best singles bars in Seattle, you’ll be approached by all kinds of drunk, uninhibited women. There’s no easier way to get laid. These are the bars that I had the most success in, and maybe even a beta bitch like you will score some pussy here:
- Unicorn: This might be a carnival themed hangout, but you won’t have your experience ruined by annoying children. If you already have a date, this is an amazing bar to take her out to, because you’re guaranteed a montage of a good time.
- Linda’s Tavern: This cowboy themed tavern is frequented by locals and tourists alike. For anyone that loves country girls and hot pants, Linda’s is your final destination.
- Some Random Bar: Perfectly balanced between hipster and modern, Some Random Bar never goes under the radar. Whether you’re drinking socially or trying to get flat out wasted and hook up, the barkeeps here will look after you well.
- Pine Box: This is the most unique bar I’ve been to in Seattle. As a repurposed mortuary, Pine Box goes for that dark afterlife vibe. If you’ve been lusting after big titty goth girlfriends, this is the place you’ll find them at.
What about Seattle sex clubs?
Whether it’s glory holes, bdsm bars, or fetish lounges, Seattle has its share. If you wanna find a freaky girl to take home, this is the best spot to start looking. The only girls at sex clubs are chicks who want a dirty fuck. If you look like the kind of guy who can meet their expectations, you’ll be the one whose dick they ride through the night. Check out these clubs, ordered in highest to lowest tier:
- Club Sapphire. The most iconic Seattle sex club, it’s close to the airport, so you can hit it up as soon as you land. This is a classy establishment, so not anyone can get in. You’ll have to buy a membership in advance if you wanna hit up the babes at this club! One night will cost you $20. You can also get memberships for 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. They cost $40, $60 and $100 respectively.
- Deja Vu Showgirls. These girls know how to dance, and they do it provocatively. The atmosphere is welcoming, and you’ll willingly take out a loan to spend more time with these girls. That’s just how seductive they are.
- Kittens Cabaret. While it’s not on the same level as our other nominees, the Kittens Cabaret has pretty whores and cheaper prices. If you’re a miserly bastard who wants a bit of action, this is the club you wanna spend the night at.
Can I get laid in Seattle anywhere?
Now, as badly as you wanna get your dick wet, I don’t want you doing dumb shit like hitting up the sketchy parts of town looking for pussy. That’s a good way to get mugged. As an avid traveller of the hookup hot zone that is Seattle, these are the neighborhoods you wanna give a wide berth to:
- South Park. This neighborhood has a crime rate 187% higher than the national average. There are 23.25 daily crimes per 100,000 people, meaning you have a 1 in 12 chance of being a victim.
- Rainier Beach. With an estimated 684 violent crimes and 6974 property crimes per 100,000 people, I cannot recommend hanging out here. You have a 1 in 14 chance of being a victim at any time.
- Othello. Their crime rate is 155% higher than the national average, and you have a 1 in 14 chance of being a victim.
- Burien. This location has a 40% higher rate than the national average for violent crimes alone. There simply isn’t anything worth seeing here that justifies the risk to your being.
These localities have a high rate of crime, and no matter how desperate you are for a lay, steer clear of these sectors, for your own safety. You’re better off trying to find a lay at one of the sex clubs Seattle has to offer.
What are some other places to hangout in Seattle?
Seattle has so much more to offer for horny perverts than just bars and nightclubs. Check out this list of naughty things to do in Seattle:
- Visit The Pink Door. If you go there at 11PM on a Saturday, you’ll get to experience a magnificent dinner paired with a burlesque show and scantily clad trapeze artists above you.
- ThePalms spanking group. Meeting twice a month, this group will show you a good time with a banquet dinner, and a session of spank/getting spanked. If that’s your kink, there’s no better place to indulge yourself.
- Check out FreakNight. Located at the WaMu Theater once a year, the booze, DJs and costumes means you’ll have the craziest hookup of your life.
What are the best hotels to hook up in Seattle?
Once you get a girl under your spell, you gotta fuck her somewhere. These are the most notable hotels Seattle has to offer, from most expensive to most frugal:
- Loews Hotel 1000 Seattle (About $245 per night). Now, you may think $245 for a single night is expensive, but there’s a status effect that surrounds the price. Everyone knows The Loews Hotel 1000. It’s where the real ballers and players stay. You could make small talk with any chick and as soon as you bring up the fact that you’re staying at Loews, she’ll be thirsting for you.
- Hyatt At Olive 8 (About $229 per night). Another great choice if you’ve got the cash to spend. You’ll be living in the lap of luxury, and every Seattle local knows about Hyatt. Any babes you hang out with will be hot on your heels, trying to get you to take her home.
- Residence Inn by Marriott Seattle Downtown/Convention Center (About $135 per night). This is a great choice if you don’t wanna spend baller money on a hotel, but also don’t wanna cheap out. Located centrally, this hotel provides all the basic amenities a traveller could need, and has durable, comfy beds. That’s the most important detail, after all.
- Hilton Seattle (About $93 per night). If you mention you’re at the Hilton, it’s still respectable. You just won’t have girls throwing themselves into your arms. You’ll have to rely on your smooth talking and personality alone to bring a girl home, since name dropping ‘Hilton Seattle’ will just get you confused stares.
You wanna impress the girls?
Getting a Seattle hookup is easy. Any idiot can take a girl home and have sex with her, but you wanna do better than sex. You wanna make her remember you as the stud who gave her waves of orgasms. The question is how is a dumb bastard like you gonna make these hot chicks scream with pleasure?
Vanilla sex is easy and dependable, but no one remembers vanilla sex unless it’s their first time. You can pump into her for a few minutes in missionary, cum and roll over to sleep, but she’s gonna shit talk you to every friend she has. Learning fetishes are your key to go from a guy to a god in her eyes. It’ll help you to keep in mind that gagging is the top fetish in Seattle in 2020. You’re doing her the favor of catering to her fetishes! What a considerate man you are, bud.
A loser like you could fuck for maybe a couple of minutes. That’s not nearly enough to satisfy a woman of high demands. This is where performance enhancers like sildenafil citrate come in. With a boner that lasts nearly 4 hours, you can fuck your lady to the moon and back. Even if you’re not particularly skilled, you’ll tire her out in a one-night stand in Seattle ladies will never forget.
Final bit of advice
Seattle sex has never been so easy. Keep in mind to not be pushy. If you get denied, that’s fine. Seattle sluts are ten a penny anyway, and for every one girl that rejects you, you’ll find three waiting to get railed by you. Don’t think too much, cut loose, and be social. With all this in mind, even a loser like you can experience sex in Seattle.
Using online dating sites are great, but nothing beats the rush of picking a girl up off the street or bar. First thing you need to do is know where to look, buddy. I’ll show you where to get laid in Seattle, completely for free. I’ve gotten my share of pussy in Seattle, now I want to share my secrets so even a dumb loser like you can get the fuck of his lifetime.